Ever since I’ve started my student teaching, I just haven’t practiced like I need to. I’ve been way too tired to make myself go to the practice rooms and practice, and it makes me feel awful. I feel as if a part of me has been disconnected.

Of course, there’s a (fairly) simple solution: go practice. Since I only have two days of student teaching left to go, I guess it will be somewhat easier for me to do. The only thing is, I only have a super busy period of time coming up. At least that does entail singing. I just have this burning need to perform. I don’t mean taking center stage with a huge cast and performing a musical or anything. No–I need to do what I love: perform art songs. I think it must seem trivial to those who don’t know me very well or who don’t understand the art form, but I do believe that singing Lieder and mélodie is just simply a part of my essence. The surreal connection between singer and pianist as the two find the twirling emotion of the music cannot be matched. I miss it terribly, and regardless of what I’m doing career-wise, I vow to always find a way to make this type of performing a part of my life. Otherwise, I will always have a part of me missing.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that music has stolen a piece of my life. I can’t say I terribly mind, but I realize that I’ll never be able to be the person I was before I began to discover the joys of a quietly resolving dissonance.

Note: I decided to publish this post, because I do believe that understanding my passion for Classical music is a key to understanding my sense of aesthetics. Music moves me, just as other beautiful wonders of this world captivate me.